The badminton tournament in Korea
To Kartik,
We were sitting on a lunch table across, separated by fibre panes, in the P section of the R5 cafeteria, when I asked if you wanted to register for the badminton tournament. You hadn’t registered so far because you couldn’t find a teammate. Divyanshu had teamed up with Aditya and Nandini with Vishnu.
The message for registration was already shared in our badminton group, and there were discussions about teamming up but I had purposely ignored them. I was reluctant to participate because I didn’t stand a chance against our teams let alone the other teams that may come. So there we were, having lunch when I proposed teaming up. We were already late as the registration had closed, but a personal message did the work. We got the entry because another team dropped out and we replaced them in the charts. We were in group D, rightly as someone should be for registering late.
I remember the very first match, where we played two people quite elder to us. The first set, we couldn’t even coordinate and lost quickly. The second set however we were able to make a comeback. The third set, we put up a good fight but eventually lost, making it a bad start to the tournament. Our other friends, had won their first matches and looked promising.
The second and third match were cakewalk for us, as the group was overall easy. Some other groups were far competitive. We came overall second and qualified for quarter finals. Happening in parallel were the matches of other groups, where the results were negative. None of the other teams made it, everyone coming third or fourth in their group. It was break time and we were the only team to have stayed in the tournament.
I remember feeling lucky, that we were assigned an easier group. You shared the emotion. Both Nandini and Divyanshu’s team were elimited, who appeared a better team that us. I remember you even voiced out feeling undeserving of having qualified right before our match when Divyanshu and Aditya were helping us warm up.
I did feel the same emotion but I didn’t want to voice it out. I didn’t want to acknowledge feeling undeserving.
The quarter final match began, this time surrounded by an audience. Our friends were watching and supporting us. We were at the center stage. Every sound of the shuttle, every thump of the foot, every word of agitation could be heard loudly. It was a good feeling. Our opponents were stronger, and we were perplexed by some of their tactics. Our attempts at coordinating failed, and we only gathered a handful of points. The intensity of emotions were off the charts. I remember feeling my blood rushing. We lost the match rather quickly. Looking from outside we may have even appeared ill-coordinated. But that doesn’t matter right. What matters is that we played. We put ourselves in a situation where our abilities were stretched. And we tried to win. It was a good feeling.
It’s a very loaded question right. It’s something I have thought about before. Who deserves what in this world? What are we guaranteed? Is a good outcome ever guaranteed to you despite how hard you work? Aren’t there always factors out of control? And if the reality is really that complex, who are we to say what we deserve and what we don’t? I think about all the things that have turned good for us? Can we justify that we deserve them? No body deserves any good thing just like no body deserves to get cancer, or get into an accident, or lose someone dear to them. Life is so haphazard that we have no idea of what can happen any moment.
Isn’t this what it is? Surreal, serendipitous moments. Unpredictable and many a times non sensical moments. The question of deserving ceases to exist in an existential world. We are here for a short while, to act the part we are assigned. All characters of a story which is unfolding live. And characters of a story don’t know what will happen next. They aren’t even aware of being in a story.
Now that I think about it, we were a good team. We shouldn’t have been self-doubting ourself that time. It was a good moment of our lives, at least that’s how I remember it. I don’t think many such instances are written in anyone’s life. So it’s our aim to shine and be alive in those moments. Read this quote by James Clear which reminded me of this story.
Dreams are fun when they are distant. The imagination loves to play with possibilities when there is no risk of failure.But when you find yourself on the verge of action, you pause. You can feel the uncertainty of what lies ahead. Thoughts swirl. Maybe this isn't the right time? Failure is possible now.
In that moment—in that short pause that arises when you stand face to face with your dream—is the entirety of life. What you do in that pause is the crucible that forges you. It is the dividing line between being the type of person who thinks about it or the type of person who goes for it.
When I really think about it, I want that moment to be my legacy. Not that I won or lost. Not that I looked good or looked like a fool. But that when I had something I really wanted to do, I went for it.
There’s a show I recently watched called - Sapne vs Everyone by TVF. I recommend you watching it. It’s an emotional story depicting two characters live our their constrasting beliefs about success and life. A quote which you might like from the show -
उमर भर ख़याली भूतों से अगर मैं न डरता,
ख़ुदा मैं क्या ज़ोर से जीता?
ख़ुदा मैं क्या चैन से मरता?