Fun as an antidote to envy
I have seldom enjoyed a house party. I’m often too self-conscious to have a good time. Do people even know me here? Why don’t I have better clothes for this? Should I laugh along in the conversation I don’t understand? Am I fun enough? Do others know I’m faking it? I would glance around the room, see others enjoying the moment, and wonder why I couldn’t be like them. I would envy those who seemed to have more fun.
This New Year’s Eve, however, I went to a friend’s party, and it was a completely different experience. I went with a plan: to have fun regardless of everything. And it worked. I talked to everyone, made some new friends, danced, had bizarre conversations, and, most importantly I didn’t overthink or envy someone for having more fun.
The reason I am sharing this unimportant story is that it reinforced a valuable insight: having fun could be an antidote to envy.
I’ve spent a lot of time dwelling on career envy. It has driven me to analyze, criticize, and even develop angst toward people who have amassed success, money, or influence. In my defense, much of it stemmed from not being happy with what I was doing. But last year changed that. Despite the longer hours and added stress, I thoroughly enjoyed running Tailored AI. Having fun along the way has kept my career envy in check.
The biggest flex / charm is enjoying life itself.
At a party, if you are having fun, others are always interested in knowing about you. You become a person of interest because you’re in the moment, living life.
When our toil doesn’t bring us joy, we justify it by focusing on the reward. If you’re unhappy doing something and sacrificing for it, the reward better be worth it—be it money, success, or recognition. But when you see someone with more of those rewards, it can make you envious. Rewards are easier to compare.
If you are enjoying the work, then that’s the best job for you. People don’t feel that, that is why they think of money, or promotion or etc.
I’ve decided to optimize my life for joy and fun along the way. If I enjoy the process, I’ll be less concerned about whether I earn the most money or achieve the most success.